A Single Cry
by LiveLaughDreamInspire
Summary: Clary's reaction to the death of her mother. "And during this downward spiral it was suddenly painfully obvious how short of a time they really had." One-shot


**Monthly One Shot Challenge Entry for The Towers of Alicante. (at least it's supposed to be but fanfiction is having some problems and won't let me write on the forum)  
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**January Prompt: "Time hasn't told anyone else yet."**

***Disclaimer: I am sadly not Classandra Clare, So I do not own TMI. A shame, I know.*  
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><p><strong>A Single Cry<strong>

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><p>"Jocelyn was beloved and dear to us all. A wonderful mother, artist, inspirer. Taken surly before her time. One who will be in our hearts for all eternity. And we take this time to pray…" The preacher dragged on and suddenly Clary couldn't take it anymore. It felt like the walls were caving in on her and everyone was watching to see when they'd fall.<p>

She was up and out of her seat before she even realized she was moving. Past the rows of benches and people making her way to the front of the church, to the door, to the exit. She was sure if maybe she just got some fresh air she'd at least be able to properly breathe.

_Baby steps, Clare. Baby steps._

She practically threw the front doors opened, running down the stairs until she collapsed on the bottom stair. The world felt like it was tilting, spinning in circles. She sucked in some deep breaths and slowly but surely the world stopped turning.

"It gets easier," A voice behind her speaks. She whirls around to find the speaker to be Jace. Standing in front of the doors of the church, hands in his pockets, and a troubled look on his face. And really she should have known, because only Jace could sneak up on Clary the way he does.

She nods her head, knowing that he's probably right since he lived it. But angry that he has and he's better off than she is. This doesn't _feel_ like something that'll just go away.

He sits down on the step next to her, taking her hand. She's not sure if she wants to thank him or yell at him to leave her alone so she opts for not saying anything.

She stares straight ahead watching a family of ducks make its way out of the park across the street. The momma duck is leading, followed by four babies as they head out into the busy New York sidewalk going god knows where. What on earth are they doing anyway?

She watches them for a while and feels Jace's arm go around her shoulders. She doesn't move or respond. She's still focused on the ducks because really if she focuses on anything else shes pretty sure she'll fall apart.

Then quick as lightning a bicyclist hit the last duckling in the line. It flew out of position and was tossed down the sidewalk, tumbling and circling until it fell into the busy commuter traffic. And for the first time since she heard of her mother's death, Clary cried.

Sobbed is really the correct term for it. Great, giant sobs that shook her body whole to the core. She felt Jace's tee shirt under her cheek and she buried her face in it, shaking uncontrollably.

And she cursed god or any angel up in heaven for bestowing this kind of pain on her. How was it possible for one person to hurt this much? It was worse than any injury or heartbreak. It was like a black hole of nothingness threatened to consume her from the inside. She gripped tirelessly at the grains of sanity or happiness and watched as they slipped through her fingers once again, as they always seemed to do.

And during this downward spiral it was suddenly painfully obvious how short of a time they really had. It was like some sort of cosmic joke because really one would never live long enough to accomplish all one wants too. You never really know what day will be your last and when applied to Clary's lifestyle the odds were not in her favor.

She let out a strangled cry, knotting her fists in Jace's shirt. He rubbed her back in small circles and made small shushing noises, never once attempting to detangle her from him. But it wasn't enough to stop the thoughts.

All the people who die every day; they have families, husbands, wives, children, parents, siblings, friends. Clary wouldn't want to give this kind pain to anyone no matter how cruel. It's like father time is playing with puppet strings. Choosing people at random, like there's some kind of daily requirement.

_Well, two thousand need to go today. How about a 'J'? It's been a while since we picked a good 'J' name._

And Clary wished that out of every other 'J' in the world, or just New York City, that time could have picked a different one. She knew that was horrible, it was terrible thing to wish someone dead, especially someone she did not know. But at the moment she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty, to care, to feel anything at all. Okay, that's a lie since she does feel something, something that's almost stronger than her grief. _Want_.

She wants to know why it wasn't her. Why couldn't he have taken her?

She wants to know what she or anyone else has ever done to deserve this.

She wants to know how time picks.

She wants punch time in the face.

She wants to rewind time. Fast forward it.

She wants to know why time didn't warn her, didn't give her some sort of heads up.

She wants, she wants, she _wants_. But mostly;

She just wants her mother back.

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><p><strong>This is my first One Shot entry for a prompt here so tell me what you think! Was it horrible? <strong>

**Review Please! (:**


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